I never thought my life would be heading in this direction. Don't get me wrong, as a child I dreamed of being famous. I once even found myself jealous of Hannah Montana... like what?
When I was in school, working towards a life full of success and happiness... I can sure as hell tell you I didn't see this. When I was bored I would draw, when I had spare time I would put outfits together and when I was in school I would daydream. It wasn't always fashion but I saw myself with a voice.
Double Tee's came to be and I had things to say..... Lots of things. But, of course having my own blog and living in the 21st century. I myself even liked looking through pictures much more than I did reading. So I thought "fuck, I'm gonna have to start taking pictures of myself..... I wasn't even into instagram, definitely not a social media junkie. I mean I was using the camera on the back of my phone.....
After a couple of shoots, working with great artists and the cliche, "finding my angles". I thought, these pictures look sick. Only to look back on them and think "What the fuck".... I had realized modelling wasn't posing in front of a camera simply trying to look good.
There's was a HUGE difference between amateur and professional.
And I never wanted my blog to look amateur...
After a bit of practice, getting casting calls and receiving jobs. I was pretty proud of myself. While it was all very exciting, it also was quite intimidating... Like fuck, imagine seeing girls twice your height and solid tens...... everywhere.
Then there's me, Ms. 5'7 and I don't even like my smile.
I never went for pretty... Always preferred the Kate Moss, mouth half open stoned look. Not the girl next door..... which half of these people were. So after getting to know the industry a bit better, receiving jobs here and there, I was on a roll.
I realized all I needed was a little edge and personality to land my photos on sticks and stones agency. A blog that inspired me far before I started mine..... When I saw my face up on their page I couldn't believe it.
In this industry you don't have to be perfect, having all the right features alone would get you nowhere. You just have to know what you're doing and have fun doing it. I'm not the model to smile in my photos.... The way my nose curls up and cheek lines indent.... NO. Not my thing, I was always a little more dark and twisted anyways... Yet, for some reason, photographers like a smile. Everyone has their beautiful imperfections.... things they don't like about themselves, mine just happened to be captured in pictures.
Lucky for me, I've worked with a number of talented people who rather than making me hate my features more, made me appreciate them. The little things we hate and notice only about ourselves, are the exact things that capture our character.
I mean on one hand, if I had a free nose job lined up with lots of drugs I'd probably go for it, but when that happens, we can talk about it. Until then I am learning to accept who I am as a person and use it to my advantage. That along with my very talented make-up artists... thank god for those ladies.
I had lots of fun at my last photoshoot with Indigo7Productions, loosening up and actually smiling.... was like being on set for the first time again.
Maybe I'll crack the perfect smiling pic.
Until Next Time,
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