Anxiety is something that will forever be with me. When I was sick I dealt with anxiety almost everyday. Being comfortable in my own body became so foreign to me, I didn't understand how anyone went through a day without it. As time went on I realized I couldn't live in fear anymore... I took all the tools I was given and forced myself to get better.
Now I live my life one day at a time. I realized we ultimately control our fate and have the strength to trick our selves into feeling weak. Im not really sure why we do it.. why we don't believe that we can be at our best all the time. But we can.
And having an off day doesn't mean we aren't. Everyone has their ups and downs, its a part of life. Without it, we wouldn't be able to tell the difference between happiness and ignorance.
When I would feel weak or slightly off I would hide in my room, curl up into a ball and wait for my anxiety to go away. You know where that got me?
The morning of this shoot I woke up with anxiety feeling nauseous. Making me even more anxious that I didn't feel well. I caught myself going right back into the cycle that made me sick in the first place.
So I got up, got ready and forced myself out the door. Ok. That wasn't too bad...
Until I realized that getting to these freaking waterfalls wasn't as easy as I thought. If you know me, you know what a clumsy bastard I am. Scaling a log over streaming water isn't my forte.
But once I reached the top everything changed.
Amongst all the stillness was my beating heart and clammy hands. Everything around me was the original creation of nature and no matter what thoughts were going through my head, I was too distracted to remember.
It was a real life metaphor that pushing your limits will bring you to your happiness.
The climb was real... And the view was even better.
I mean c'mon... look at the place.